Conquer the Chaos: The Balance of Family, Business & Finding Your Voice
A Conversation with Desiree Cleave, COO of Coeur d’Alene Painting Group
Episode 262 of Out of the Hourglass
When Molly Nolan attended an iHeartMedia event in Philadelphia about podcast audience segmentation, one psychographic profile stood out: “The Conqueror” – the working mom striving to be her best self across career, family, and wellness. Immediately, Desiree Cleave came to mind.
As the Chief Operations Officer of Coeur d’Alene Painting Group and co-owner of The Stain Shop, Des manages not one but two businesses alongside her husband Brad and father-in-law. She’s also a mother navigating the daily juggle of school runs, family dinners, and personal wellness, all while maintaining the calm, organized presence that makes others wonder: How does she do it all?
In this episode of Out of the Hourglass, Des opens up about leadership, motherhood, and what it takes to keep moving forward when life doesn’t go as planned.
[Watch the full episode here on Youtube] or Listen on your Favorite Podcast App.
Finding her Voice Through Showing Up
Stepping into a family business as a spouse presents unique challenges. Des joined an established company with a strong legacy, and over the past five years, she’s watched her own leadership confidence grow. Her DISC profile reflected the transformation: she went from low dominance (low D) to high dominance (High D) , a measurable shift in how she shows up.
When asked about this evolution, Des shared: “Finding my voice wasn’t about forcing respect, it was about showing up consistently, knowing my role, and letting my leadership speak for itself.“
She also recognized that working with family is fundamentally different than working for someone else. “It’s completely different when you’re working for someone, instead of working with family. That’s a whole other dynamic.” That is something we at Nolan Consulting Group can absolutely relate to!
Des credits intentional personal development for her growth. “I wasn’t a big reader up until probably two years ago, and now I’m constantly reading and absorbing and listening to podcasts and doing all of the things, because I want to continue to evolve. I want our business to continue to evolve, and myself as well.”
The Re-Route Mindset –Adapting Instead of Panicking
One of the most powerful shifts Des has made is how she responds to change. Instead of panicking when plans fall apart, she’s learned to reroute.
“When you put in an address on Google Maps, and say there’s construction happening, it says reroute,” Des explains. “I’m gonna get to the destination, but I might have to make a couple different turns that I didn’t plan on to get there. Is it gonna be within the time that I wanted to? Maybe not, but that’s okay.”
This mindset has become essential as a business owner and mother. “I’m learning that the rerouting, that the pivoting is all part of it, and there’s always a lesson to be learned during each one of those turns.”
The shift came from letting go of something that had held her back for years: fear. “For so long, I lived in such a fear state, like, oh my gosh, I can’t do this because I’m gonna make that mistake, when life is all about learning from our mistakes,” Des reflects. “I operated out of fear for so long that it wasn’t serving me. I finally got to a point where I realized it wasn’t serving me.”
The Reality of Juggling it All
Des is honest about what it actually takes to balance business ownership and motherhood. There’s no perfect formula, just prioritization and grace.
“What moms, business owners, need to give themselves is grace,” Des says. “We’re human, and really, there’s no such thing as this work-life balance. It’s all about the juggling and prioritizing.”
Her approach is grounded in daily focus: “What are the 5 things that have to get done today? I cannot leave the office, I cannot close my eyes until those 5 things are done. And then the rest, if they’re gonna bounce, let those things bounce into tomorrow.”
Des has also intentionally involved her kids in the business. “Our kids have been very much a part of our business,” she shares. She teaches them about finances, brings them to the office, and models healthy habits like working out and waking up early. “I think it’s important to show them that you can do all of these things.”
The One Non-Negotiable: Morning Routine
When asked what keeps her sane across all her roles, Des doesn’t hesitate: waking up early.
“Waking up early and giving yourself that little bit of time before the world wakes and your kids are up is gonna be a huge game changer,” she explains. “Anytime I don’t wake up that early, I just don’t feel my best.”
Her alarm goes off at 4:40 a.m. It’s not about elaborate rituals, it’s about having time for herself before the demands of the day begin. It sets the tone for what’s to come.
The Conqueror in Action
By the end of the conversation, it’s clear that the “Conqueror” label fits Des perfectly, not because she has it all figured out, but because she’s committed to showing up, adapting, and learning every single day.
She’s proof that you can honor a legacy while building something new. You can be a mother and a leader. You can operate in fear for years and still learn to let it go.
As Des puts it: “You’re gonna figure it out. As a mom, you’re like, I’m gonna figure this out one way or another.”
Listen to the full conversation with Desiree Cleave on Out of the Hourglass, presented by Nolan Consulting Group.
Connect with Desiree:
- Instagram: @chaosandchurros_
- Coeur d’Alene Painting Group: cdapaintinggroup.com
Want to grow your trades business with the right systems and support? Connect with us today for a conversation to learn more about Nolan Consulting Group’s coaching programs.
Out of the Hourglass helps small business owners and leaders in the trades industry visualize their goals, develop their teams, and build sustainable growth. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.